– [Host] Thanks to Mack Weldon for keeping Legal Eagle in the air and helping me look fly. What it’s like doing a virtual depo right now. (host laughs) If you’re in Florida, this is what you look like because you’re not wearing a shirt. Because apparently they’re not wearing shirts in Florida, because (fan cheers) Florida. (calming jazz music) (raindrops pitter-pattering) (distant sirens ring) (window swishes) (beverage trickles) (fire crackles) Oh, I didn’t see you there, and set up a tri-pod and a camera and a whole bunch of lights. Well, since you’re here, and we’re all locked inside in this never-ending Chekhov’s winter, this prison of our own homes, this panopticon of social media and lockdown orders, I guess we might as well do a meme review.
Since everyone loves lawyers and Coronavirus, might as well combine everyone’s two favorite things together. Yeah, let’s do a legal-Coronavirus meme review. (drums beat) Meme Review! Meme Review trademark of PewDiePie. All rights reserved. (drums beat) As a criminal lawyer, what’s the biggest issue you’re dealing with in 2020? Trying to figure out how to correctly run the vacuum cleaner and the dishwasher. (host laughs) Oh man, it’s been so interesting seeing how the legal profession functions when we’re all working from home these days. It’s been really interesting seeing that a lot of the stuff that makes lawyers expensive, like going into court and waiting there for hours just to have a minor hearing, can actually be accomplished over video conferencing software. Yeah, trying to work the vacuum cleaner and the dishwasher while sometimes appearing in court can be very difficult. And apparently in Florida they are appearing on video conferences from home without shirts on. So all of you lawyers out there, please put a shirt on.
If you’re showing up to court, put on a tie even if it’s in your own home. (drums beat) No, you can’t approach the bench if you have a cold. Oh, big mistake! Big mistake. He approached the judge without asking for permission first. You know what happens when you approach the judge without asking for permission entering the well, but this cartoonist screwed that up because you wouldn’t ask for permission if you were already there. Think about that. (drums beat) If you are experiencing the following symptoms: headache, body aches, shortness of breath, fever, developed aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, easily frustrated, can’t communicate properly, feeling dizzy, this in not the Coronavirus, these are the effects of being an attorney.
(host laughs) Oh boy that hits close to home. It can be tough being a lawyer out there. And look, I know it’s tough for everyone these days, but yeah, lawyers deal with this stuff on a regular basis. ‘Cause we work really, really long hours. We’ll work 10, 12 hours a day, seven days a week often if we’re preparing for trial. Often people confuse being a jerk with being a disposition.
No, it’s actually just a consequence of becoming a lawyer. You become a jerk, and you get all the aches and pains that go with it. So, yeah. I feel that. (drums beat) What it’s like doing a virtual depo right now. (host laughs) Uh yeah. As you may know if you watch this channel, a deposition is questioning a witness under oath, and you’ll have a stenographer there taking down the words that are being spoken. Well you can’t do that now because you’re within six feet, you’re within the same room. You don’t want to spread the germs. So, what lawyers have taken to doing is doing a virtual depo. You are having a video conference, and the witness is still under oath. You have the stenographer call in to the virtual depo, and maybe they’re recording it for future posterity, which is something they should do anyway, and it drives me insane that they don’t record these things often. It should be recorded.
You should be able to refer back to it without having to refer to the transcript from the stenographer. But anyway, if you’re in Florida, this is what you look like because you’re not wearing a shirt. Because apparently they’re not wearing shirts in Florida because (fan cheers) Florida. (drums beat) Divorce lawyers in April after two-week Coronavirus quarantine. (host laughs) You know consider yourself lucky if you have a significant other to spend the quarantine with, and you come out stronger at the end of the quarantine. (drums beat) Government orders non-essential workers to work from home. Lawyers somehow are essential workers.
Well look, especially you have to imagine district attorneys and public defenders, certainly essential workers, and as I mentioned in another video, the prisons are being hit really, really hard by Coronavirus, because you can imagine everyone is forced to be in confinement, and we’re hearing numbers of like 80, 90 and 100% infection rates in some prisons. It’s a really, really bad time for lawyers, for prison guards, for judges, for district attorneys, public defenders. It’s not really a laughing matter. I mean, I feel it’s tough for everyone. But you know, life has to go on. The wheels of the judicial system have to go on. (drums beat) COVID-19 turning lawyers into cavemen. Last day before– Oh poor Matthew Perry. Remember Matthew Perry? He was a good-looking guy. Yeah, I am trying to workout, but I think I’m gonna be leaving lockdown with a few extra Coronavirus pounds. It’s just hard not leaving the house, going on maybe one walk.
I think I went outside a couple days ago. That was good time. I feel like we’re all at home doing nothing but sitting around and drinking Mr. Pibb and Red Vines and talking about friends alum Matthew Perry. (drums beat) You know this would be more fun with a friend. I got an idea. Hey, are you doing anything right now? Yeah somebody set up a tripod and a camera in my family room. You wanna react to some legal memes? Cool. I’ll send you the Zoom link. Okay, is this working? – Hello. – Uh you’re frozen. Yeah why don’t you try and log in again? Yeah, no, try it again. No, I can’t hear you. Can you hear me? (bell dings) All right. (drums beat) – All right, day seven of quarantine, attorneys let’s argue, I wanna feel something.
Oh man, I really feel that. Do you feel that? – I feel this deep. I feel this deep for two reasons. Firstly, my housemates are lawyers, and so we get our arguing to another level. There is no playing around when it comes to who hasn’t done the dishes ’cause we are ready to moot. – Do people ever talk to you and say, I’m really good at arguing, therefore I should go to law school? – People don’t say it to me, because I don’t think I am.
In real life I think I am the most non-confrontational person, so I actually don’t argue a lot. But you know when you kind of been in, not an argument, but when you’ve kind of fallen out with a friend. And then you stand in the shower later listening to emotional Adele music, and you think of all the things you could’ve said in that moment. Maybe this is not relatable with the Adele point, but kind of like when you come away from an argument or a confrontation, and you think of all the arguments you could’ve made, and that’s when I knew I’d be a good lawyer ’cause I was like, you see, lawyers don’t have to be super confrontational in person ’cause they can do all their preparation beforehand and turn up with all of their arguments in their pristine, golden, shiny form.
(drums beat) Family, religion, friendship, these are the three demons you must slay if you want to succeed in big law. (Eve laughs) – Oh no! It’s true. – Yeah, it’s true. I agree. – How would you say your life has changed under the Damocles of the Coronavirus and being forced to lockdown? Are you less social or more social than working normal hours at the firm? – That is a really hard one because I train with a lot of other trainee lawyers my own age, and we often go out for coffee together.
And we eat lunch together. And I really like that. And now I’m so stir-crazy ’cause I don’t have someone to just break out and talk to. So I’m probably more anti-social. (host laughs) But I’m definitely outside a lot more, which sounds kind of depressing. But I often think it’s very easy when you work at a law firm that you will just be inside all day. Unless you make the active effort to go and get coffee or go and eat lunch out, you won’t leave. You won’t leave. So now I’m taking as many walks as I can a day. (drums beat) – I was speaking of billable hours. (host laughs) (Eve laughs) – This one I found– I think this is really funny. It’s just like how the level of desperation gets more and more as we’re getting further into the crisis. – Yeah, and I guess some background here, in big firms lawyers get a salary. But in order to get that salary, which is generally pretty good for people that are just coming out of law school or college, you have to work an insane amount of hours, and those are called billable hours.
At least in the U.S., the very bottom floor would be probably about 2,000 billable hours. And if you’re a first- or second-year, it’s probably more like 2,300 billable hours. And that’s just hours that you can bill to a client. It’s not the actual hours that you work in the firm, which is often 50% more than that. So you might be working 3,000 or 3,500 hours to get 2,000 or 2,300 billable hours. – I also think it’s really interesting, and I didn’t realize this before I started, how closely you have to record that time. – Oh yeah, right! – My time sheets are so detailed, and I had no idea that that happened. Also to give context, every single task I do per day, I have to record by the minute because then when the firm wants to charge a client, they then have to turn around and say, this is exactly what we spent time on. So you know exactly what you’re gonna pay for. But that means that every hour– When I first started I found it really stressful because I was kind of like, do I stop my timers if I go to the toilet? It was really intense.
– Yeah, well it depends on if you’re thinking about the client in the bathroom or not. – Which I wasn’t. I did stop my timers. (drums beat) (host laughs) (Eve laughs) – Keeping up with the billable requirement here. Yeah, the bonus in terms of toilet paper. – Of toilet paper. – I feel like that’s an American thing. Were there shortages of toilet paper in Great Britain? – Oh my God. You have no idea. People went so crazy. We had it here as well, and the funniest thing is I’d walk past a supermarket, the same supermarket every day to the firm. And every morning there would be lines of people holding their toilet paper, and it would be sold out by 10 minutes past opening. I was like, it will get back in stock. It did not get back in stock U.K.-wide about five weeks.
I was like, oh my God. What if I actually run out? So unnecessary. – Yeah, and I don’t see why the Coronavirus would make people use more toilet paper. I guess maybe this is TMI, but I’ve been on team bidet for a long time, so it doesn’t really affect me as much as everybody else. – And also I love how extreme people were getting. They were like, obviously BuzzFeed and companies like that were jumping on the bandwagon, and like here’s how you can make toilet paper out of organic leaves.
I’m like, I don’t wanna ever– I don’t want it to get to that level. Can we just not stockpile? That’s an easy solution. – Yeah, oh my God. Let’s not spend too much time (Eve laughs) – On the toilet paper and move on to the next one here. (drums beat) – Receiving deliveries during the pandemic, like leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here. (host laughs) – I relate to this so hard. But you know what, I actually think it’s the other way around.
Someone delivered a parcel yesterday, and I opened the door, and the man he had only just put it down. And he looked up at me, and he ran backwards, almost fell over his feet. And then he was like, oh I need to take a photo to prove it’s been delivered. So I stood by my parcel, and I was like, I feel now obliged now to pose. So I stood there with my parcel, like thank you. He was like, I only needed a picture of the parcel. I didn’t need a picture of you. (man laughs) – So now there’s this weird photo of me and a parcel on a database somewhere, like hi. – I think that means you’re spending too much time on Instagram. I think you need to step back from the influencer lifestyle just a little bit. – Yeah, I know. Someone gets out a camera, and I’m immediately like, yes! Switched on. – Skinny arm out in front and posing with the parcel. – Yeah, catch my jaw. – Yeah, I am thanking my delivery people like they are soldiers returning from war.
They are really making our lives I think livable at this point, so I’m thankful for– – Yeah they are incredible. Yeah. (drums beat) – I don’t own anything. Prosecuting attorney, will the witness lower his– (host laughs) (Eve laughs) – Is Joe Exotic a thing in the U.K.? Is Tiger King making rounds around there? – So much a thing to the extent which three nights ago I was like, maybe I want a mullet.
And then I was like, no I don’t. No I really don’t. – You may not have a choice. We’re all cutting our own hair these days, so you may end up with one no matter what. – Yeah, I might slip and then just have to become my inner Joe Exotic. All though maybe I’m more of a Carole Baskin. I’ve not decided yet. (host laughs) Maybe I’m one of the tigers.
Who knows? – Yeah are you team Joe or team Carole? – Oh definitely team Carole because– and I love how people were kind of like, people were kind of like Carole is so, on Twitter people were like, Carole is so crazy. She potentially murdered her ex-husband and all this sort of thing. And I’m like, yeah but he literally keeps 200 tigers in his land estate in the middle of America. How are we normalizing that already? – Well I mean, yeah. – He’s not the normal one in this situation. – Technically Carole had lions and tigers as well.
But between the two of them, one of them is spending two decades in federal prison, and the other is a free person. So, I’m not sure who we should be giving the benefit of the doubt to here. – This is true, and I actually think about the guy. I would love to meet him. (host laughs) Also imagine being his lawyer. I just think that would be so, so incredible. (drums beat) All right, working in the office. Working from home. Oh, no! – This speaks to me on a deep level. I won’t lie. (host laughs) – So at the moment, all of our internal meetings at the firm are done by camera. Everyone’s on camera, like us on this Zoom. – Yes.
– And so, you kind of feel obliged to look somewhat not asleep, but then equally you’re like, but I’m in my own home. It’s a very– at the start some people were, everyone was still wearing business wear at the start. I was like, I’m in my own home. I’m not putting on a suit. I don’t know what’s happening.
It’s regressed and regressed and regressed. Now I’m just turning up in my t-shirt like, take me or leave me. Have me for who I am. – Yeah, in Florida apparently they are having trouble with the attorneys who are showing up on the Zoom calls without shirts on. And sometimes you can get away with wearing less formal stuff below, but I’ve never heard– Well it makes total sense in Florida that they would show up in front of the judge on a video conference call with opposing counsel. – Oh my gosh. In front of a judge? – No shirt. No shirt. – Okay so here’s the difference. I know in the U.K. that we have now opened up virtual courts as well, and I’m 100% sure if I was in any kind of judicial situation like that I would be in full, black business wear.
(drums beat) – Graduating law school like I am never going to financially recover from this. Oh no! I had so much law school debt. I had so much law school debt. Please tell me that you incurred a whole bunch of debt as well. – Okay so, I did, financial and emotional debt, (host laughs) but I will say I’m pretty sure law school fees in America are way higher than the U.K. So I kind of don’t want to complain too much because I’m still in debt, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think it’s near the level of the States. – More or less than the equivalent of $200,000? Like more or less than 150,000 pounds? (Eve gasps) – Damn it. – I’m at under 25% of that. (host sighs) – For four years, I probably owed around 30 to 40 thousand pounds. – And you’re not even gonna be a real lawyer doing litigation at the end of that.
I feel so bad for you. – We’re gonna fall out. And I’m ready. I am ready for us to fall out. That would be the ultimate head-to-head. We’re gonna come back for round two, and I’m gonna have arguments as to why transactional lawyers are better than litigious lawyers. (drums beat) – Where can the people find you on the Internet? – You can come along with me on my YouTube channel. You can also find me on Instagram and Twitter under the same handles, evecornwell.
Why did that feel like an interview? I’m like– (Eve laughs) – Well thank you, Eve, so much, and thank you for providing some human contact in these really terrible times. – Thank you so much for having me. – [Host] Bye, bye. – Bye! – That was fun. Interacting with people was fun. I miss that. (host sighs) Oh well, more memes. (drums beat) Stop spreading stupid rumors about martial law. Completely false, we will continue closing. This is not martial law. This fall on NBC, Marshall Law. (host laughs) So this is a pet peeve of mine. It’s martial law spelled M-A-R-T-I-A-L, as in an army, a martial army. Not Marshall, like Marshall Mathers. Though I would totally watch that show, Marshall Law, and then you have a crossover with Ice-T from Law & Order, now that that’s been canceled. ♪ Hi, my name is ♪ – [Announcer] Justice.
I mean NBC, make this show. Make Marshall Law. That would be amazing. (drums beat) Motion to cancel the rest of the year. Motion granted. Motion granted. Move to strike the previous portion of this year too. Man, screw this year. (drums beat) Dear counsel, by opening up this email you have agreed to accept electronic service and stipulated that our motion for summary judgment will be unopposed. Stay safe. (host laughs) So this is another thing that lawyers have to deal with. Except under these extenuating circumstances, you have to physically mail almost everything or personally deliver motions, or discovery requests, and you have to physically file the stuff with the court. I’ve never understood, except for sort of traditional reasons, why this is.
Now that everyone can’t really go to court, although some people still have to physically file stuff with the court, we should be able to do what’s called provide things via electronic service and accept service electronically. In this day and age, it’s so much better, and it’s so much more certain that if you send it via email or if you have a read receipt with an email, that’s way better than personally handing this stuff with a process server or sending it through the mail.
Although you get crazy stuff like this where you say, if you open the email you agree to accept service and grant my motion for summary judgment. It’s clever. That part will not work, but the other stuff should work. And we should just do away with having non-electronic service. It’s nonsense. (drums beat) Quarantine pro tip, if you run out of toilet paper, that copy of the motion to compel you received from opposing counsel will suffice. (host laughs) That is true because when opposing counsel gives you a motion to compel, it’s garbage, and it should go in the toilet paper. If I send a motion to compel, meritorious and cannot be used for toilet paper. (drums beat) Sadly my side hustle is just billing more hours.
(host laughs) Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve been in the big firm world. I was in there for a decade, and yeah, when you’re in the big firm world you’re side hustle is just more of your main hustle. So, I’m glad that I don’t have to do that anymore, and now I have my own practice. (drums beat) (host laughs) How did that get there? I know people always speculate that I’m not actually wearing pants, but I do actually wear pants when I record these videos. Like the pants that I’m wearing right now are from Mack Weldon. They are Mack Weldon’s radius pants. They’re increbibally comfortable, and they’re the perfect pants for this post-apocalyptic, COVID-19, stay-at-home situation because they look like real pants, but they’re actually athleisure pants that are incredibly comfortable. You can do anything any them. Because if you have to be stuck at home, you should wear your Mack Weldon. Mach Weldon, for the man that wants to look like they’re wearing pants but doesn’t have to. And these pants are even more comfortable because I’m pairing them with Mack Weldon’s famous boxer briefs, which are so comfortable.
But obviously I can’t show you that. Well, hold on. (host grunts) Highly recommended. Because if you’re watching this channel, you’re probably an adult, and you deserve to have some nice underwear. Mack Weldon is a mens’ essential clothing company that focuses on smart design and premium fabrics to make some of the most comfortable clothing out there. I’ve ordered Mack Weldon with my own money for years, and it’s especially great in these times when I can go online, and I can order Mack Weldon straight from their website.
Order as many options and sizes as I want, have them delivered, and then return anything that doesn’t fit or I don’t like free of charge. And, if you wanna try out their underwear, you don’t have to even return it because nobody wants to use used underwear. (gavel knocks) (dog barks) So if you would like to try Mack Weldon, get 20% off, all you have to do is go to MackWeldon.com/legaleagle or use the promo code legaleagle at checkout. I’ll also drop a link in the doobly-doo as well.
Clicking on the link really helps out this channel, and what’s great is Mack Weldon has a loyalty program where if you sign up, you can get 20% off indefinitely for all of your future orders and get access to new stuff when it comes out. So, do you agree with my analysis? Do you disagree with Eve’s analysis? Leave your objections in the comments, and check out this playlist over here with all of my other meme reviews and reactions to the crazy things on Reddit and social media and crazy posts on Facebook. Just click on this link, and I’ll see you in court..